I have entered a void in my life that I do not believe there is an easy escape from (if any). Like many things in life, I did not know this event had occurred until I was in the middle of it. Everywhere I look in my life I see nothing but pain, darkness, despair, bitterness, lies, betrayal, fear, misunderstanding, abandonment, and idolatry. I do NOT feel anymore. I cannot afford to. I do not feel love. I do not feel joy. I do not feel excitement. I don't know what the Hell "fun" is. Laughter is usually forced. Comedy has to be really dark or intellectual. Entertainment is a foreign concept. There is no rest. I haven't felt "good" in many years. I don't know how to talk to people. I try to ignore them, tell them what they want to hear, or keep whatever bullshit facade going because "that's the thing to do". I avoid everyone at every given opportunity. I deactivated all my social media, bought a house on the edge of town, do not go out anymor...